To Be Perfectly Honest…

As a newlywed you get asked the question “So, when are you having kids?” Like constantly. Check out the most annoying newlywed questions >>here<<. So to be perfectly honest right now kids are just not on my “to-do” list if you will, and it’s not because I’m “selfish” as so many people automatically assume that we are when we answer the question, it’s because children terrify the living shit out of me.

That might seem silly and weird to a lot of people, but it’s completely true. I’m a perfectionist, I like order, I like clean, I like my schedule and my hobbies, I love taking a weekend away…all things that make me sound selfish. But to me the idea of children leads to the constant unknown, messes EVERYWHERE and ALL THE TIME, nothing is ever in order, a schedule can be made but often broken, hobbies are set aside until they lose fruition, and no weekend is ever really a break anymore.

Granted, I do not have children so for those of you who do and still accomplish a steady life with order and still manage weekends away, well you are very few and far between and you are someone that everyone else admires. But not only do children terrify me in the aspect of just chaos in the household, it’s outside of the house that is out of my control that would tear me a part as a parent.

As a child I was tormented constantly, I went through a “chubby” stage if you will, as do a lot of other kids, but I was also the new girl in a new school from Minnesota all the way down to Florida. I was the girl who wore socks with my sandals because in Minnesota it’s always too cold not to wear socks. I was the girl who had outdated clothing from Old Navy and the “funny” northern accent. I was the pale girl with too dark and too short hair with a Columbia backpack normally used for hiking, while the other kids had decorative Jansport backpacks. I was the tomboy who took interests in PE over sitting playing hand games with the rest of the other girls.

Children terrify me because they are all cruel in their own ways, and while parents will never admit that their own child is a bully, it still happens to this day. It’s a never ending cycle of mean cat-calls and now with social media it’s just opening a million other doors to getting unwanted exposure and attention. Growing up being bullied is something I would never wish upon any child, my own or someone else’s.

Plus the idea of child birth completely destroys my confidence levels, I mean seriously I feel like that has to be the worst experience ever. I have a slight aversion to pain and I really don’t want to go through it, it just sounds all kinds of awful. So my answer to your annoying questions about children is just “no.” If they are in our future, then that’s just great, but as of right now we’re enjoying being married and enjoying the not-so-peace-and-quiet that is our life. Trust me when I say this, we’ve got enough going on right now without children.

 

The Top 8 Most Annoying Questions You Get Asked As Newlyweds

So hubby and I have been married for 99 days as of today! Put into day terms, that’s a lot longer than some celebrity marriages! In my book that means we’re off to a great start! As all newlyweds can agree, you can get some really annoying questions after you’re married. So as a kind of warning to all of the happy couples out there, you WILL get asked these questions, and it will get more and more annoying the more the days pass. I wish I could tell you when these questions finally end…but we’re clearly not at that point yet, but don’t worry I’ll make sure to follow-up when I know!

1. “So how is married life? Does it feel any different?”
   1. It’s great I guess? In all honesty it feels no different, but we have been building a life together for the past 4 years….I mean I don’t want to kill him yet, so I guess that’s good? I mean honestly do you really care?
2. “When do you plan on having kids?”
   1. We JUST got married, children are terrifying and stinky. I like having a clean house, clean sticky-free walls and a full 8 hours of sleep every night. I think we’re good right now. Besides, I have my pups and they’re much easier to handle than a child would be.
3. “Are you sad that it’s all over and there’s nothing to look forward to now?”
   1. Well aren’t you a bundle of joy! Do you really think there is nothing else to look forward to in life now that we’re married?! I couldn’t be happier that the wedding is OVER with, that was too much planning, too much stress, and while it turned out beautifully I am so THANKFUL that it is done with. The amazing thing right now is that we don’t have to make plans, it’s AWESOME. We’re relaxing, enjoying each other’s company, there’s plenty to look forward to, and all of it is much less stressful!
4. “Are you excited you can gain weight now?”
   1. What is wrong with you people? Is marriage really viewed as an excuse to NOT take care of yourself?! If I don’t feel attractive within myself how could I ever feel like my husband finds me attractive? So the quick answer to that is, NO! I am not letting myself go just because I’m married, if anything I’m going to drag him along with me to a healthier and happier lifestyle. Marriage is not an excuse to gain weight and become unhealthy. Plain and simple.
5. “I could never get married at your age” 
   1. This one is more of a statement than a question, but a statement that nevertheless I don’t rightly care to hear. Of course you could never get married at my age, you’ve been single since I’ve known you! That’s great that you feel that way, good for you, but that’s YOUR life. Not mine. So please, keep the comments to yourself.
6. “Don’t you want to travel?” 
   1. Actually we do, thanks for asking! Does everyone just think that once your married you can’t go anywhere? That you’re just going to sit at home for the rest of your life? It is POSSIBLE to travel with someone else…not just by yourself. Most people travel with their best friends…well jokes on you, I get to travel with the ultimate best friend..oh and with benefits for the rest of my life!
7. “Does it suck you won’t have any time to yourself?” 
   1. I have more time to myself than I know what to do with. I mean we do have jobs, and his hours are the complete opposite of mine. If you add together all the hours that I have to myself it equals to about a days worth of so-called “alone” time, and no I do not wish I had more of it. Call me crazy but I enjoy spending time with my husband.
8. “Does it get annoying that you have to share EVERYTHING now?” 
   1. I didn’t know sharing a last name meant that we were all of sudden required to share EVERYTHING. It’s not like we’re one massive blob of a person, we are still each our own person. It’s a complete misconception that everything is shared, but hey if I’m not too hungry at dinner I have my reliable hubs to go halfsies on a meal with me…you don’t see restaurants having special priced meals for “one” now do you?

So please I’m begging you, if you have any friends or family members about to tie the knot…DO NOT ask these questions, but regardless of what I say the questions will still be asked, the rude statements still be made. But at least now you get to sit at home watching Netflix reruns with your spouse, laughing and joking at all of the stupid things everyone else says. Jokes on all of them, because you’re both awesome.

 

Target and the Gender Neutral Movement

So occasionally the world just provides me with amazing topics to get all heated over, the worst part is I usually find all of these stories browsing through my news feed, I mean come on I haven’t had cable in well over a year now. Well here I am scrolling along and I came across a shared post talking about this person who faked being a Target representative, just feeding off the anger of venting Americans over this whole gender neutrality move that Target has decided to make. Of  course out of curiosity I just had to take a peek – you can view the article here – and boy if I was not entertained! I’m still laughing hysterically.

Let me elaborate.

Are you people serious right now!?! You are all so butt hurt over the combination of the toys and bedding sections for children?! How in the hell does that affect you in any way shape or form? So sorry they will be changing the paint down the aisles, damn that is such a hassle for you, I for one will be happy not to see bright ass pink in the Barbie aisles anymore, because really….that pink is just completely obnoxious and distracting. If I ever had a daughter her room colors would definitely not be pink and a boy would definitely not be blue. Does anyone really still do that? They’re little….they don’t give a crap. My room changed colors and wallpapers (oh the 90’s) constantly growing up, and my parents were at least awesome enough to let me decide.

I see right through all of these people complaining about the “neutral move” as I’ll call it, we all know that you people are just being dicks over the LGBT movement/community. They haven’t done anything to you, they’re trying to be happy and find love just like the rest of the world!

But I can see right through your bull shit, all of you are such hypocritical fools. Do you honestly think that the toys your child plays with, and the colors you put in their bedrooms will determine their sexuality later in life?! If you are still on that bandwagon than you really need to reevaluate your life. I don’t know about my fellow readers out there, but I loved hot wheels, they were the greatest toy ever! Of course I liked to play with my barbie’s with my sister, but once my brother came around all of his toys were so much better! They made you think, not just play house, he always had Lego sets that he wanted my help with, Bionicles to be built, and I mean come on who doesn’t want a swooshing light saber?! But even with all of that my brother was always included to play with my sister and I when we played with our barbie’s or polly pockets – granted he might kill me for even saying it – but that’s the whole point here; boys and girls shouldn’t have to be embarrassed about playing with all kinds of different toys!

We always label, even as adults we are labeled, and that’s more so by appearance and still by gender once you get into the work force. Gender neutrality is one of the biggest steps that needs to be made to help with the equality of genders for the future generations. What are you going to say to your child, “oh no sweetie that’s a girls toy,” or “that’s a boys toy.” We shouldn’t be restricting the possibilities for our children to learn and play with toys that make them happy, and as for the bedding…oh boo fricken who. I would never purchase a bright flowering comforter for my child to begin with, and I wouldn’t be caught dead with one of those car beds in my house, but that’s just me.

Children have no sense of what they can and can’t play with, it’s you as the adult who tells them, and those ideas will stay with that child for the rest of their lives. It shouldn’t be that way, we should be shaping a better future for these children, because I sure as hell don’t want to raise my child into thinking they can and can’t play with certain toys, because what does that say further into their future, that they can and can’t work at certain places because of gender, they can and can’t go to a certain college or play a certain sport because of gender. If I had a daughter who grew up to want to be a mechanic, then she can be a mechanic! (I wouldn’t doubt that anyways with how obsessed with cars my husband is) If I had a son who wanted to be a nurse, by all means he can be a damn nurse!

You see, it’s just a label, and by no means do toys determine a child’s sexuality. For heaven’s sake the toys end up being given away or sold as soon as they become babyish to your now teenager who is only interested in their phones, friends and video games. So calm down people, it’s not the end of the world, to me it seems like the start of a better one for the future generations. You can agree or disagree with me, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but as for you Target, you have my full support!

 

Fears You Never Knew You Had

The wedding is in exactly 24 days now. And our fur baby Whiskey has lost the use of her hind legs overnight.

It’s one thing, to just get into your routine and go to bed at night with three happy and healthy dogs, to wake up in the morning and all of a sudden your whole world crumbles beneath your feet. You watch as your oldest baby struggles off of the bed with no coordination in her back legs whatsoever. A 3 year old mixed rescue dog should not just all of a sudden lose her ability to walk within 12 hours or less. You just stare, you have no words for what just happened, no inclination that this would ever happen, and no warning signals. You hope that throughout the day the problem will just go away on its own, because hey maybe she just slept on them wrong.

But then when you come home from work and nothing has changed and your poor baby is limping and barely keeping her rear end up, you know that you have to take her in. A multitude of things could be happening to her, your given all these different theories but with no concise answers, because of course these things don’t just happen over night. Well I’m sorry doc but this did. All of her vitals are normal, she’s completely healthy, but she is losing functioning in her hind legs.

Something is said about a disconnect from the brain to the spinal cord, but she shows no signs of pain for that to be accurate. Something about meningitis, but no proof in her blood work it’s there. Something about minor seizures, but again no proof of that existence. Something about epilepsy is mentioned, then ticks, but the results say no.

In these 24 days left up until the wedding, you’re supposed to be stress-free and relaxed, getting the final details situated. But here I am, thinking the worst for my first fur baby, on the third days round of pills and medications for a problem that came out of nowhere with no evidence to the cause. You turn to Google and find that this has happened before, apparently in the case of thousands, with each outcome different than the last. You constantly watch for signs, check her up and down for a tick that might have latched on, try to treat her the same and not as different from what she was just three days ago. She cannot do stairs, she can no longer sleep on the bed, she cannot play with her brother and sister, and she cannot tell us what’s wrong.

You’re completely helpless, and something you never thought would ever happen, happens. You fear that she will go completely paralyzed, that whatever is attacking her will not be found in time. The worst fears are the fears of your own reality, and all you can do is take it by day, hoping that the medications work, hoping that she gets through this, and wishing this was not a reality, but a horrible nightmare that you can just wake up from.

With 24 days before the wedding, this is my reality.

Wedding Invites: Tips for a Bride-To-Be

There seriously is no better feeling than finishing your wedding invites, sealing all that info in the envelopes, sticking that stamp on and sending them off into the world, just embracing that huge weight that lifts from your chest. Pure bliss.

But, all the events that take place BEFORE this glorious time in your life, is complete and utter hell. Eh, well I wouldn’t go THAT far, but pretty damn close. When you are a perfectionist like me, it takes FOREVER to figure out the direction you want to take and on top of that I had a pure bridal stress moment, so here is that little piece of wisdom that I can pass off to all the other brides out there!

Here was my bridal stress moment; so of course you start gathering names for your guest list, getting all the proper information together ahead of time so you aren’t scrambling later. Well it took about 4 months just for me to finish combing through the list and get it down to a reasonable amount of people, since I really do not want a HUGE wedding, just not my thing. To ease my guest list stress, I use Wedding Wire, where I can input all of the guest list info I need to, including who needs hotels, addresses, emails, phone numbers, and also create our free wedding website, AND search for vendors in the area. The site is a life saver, but here is where I messed up.

Buying the invites, which I purchased from Wedding Paper Divas, they have AMAZING offers and coupons, I was under the impression that I needed to order at least 85 invites, and of course then 85 RSVP cards, considering I had around 81 guests invited according to the guest list count on wedding wire….If you don’t see the problem here yet, then bless your heart because I didn’t either and ended up wasting at least an extra $150 on invites. So, I counted by guests for the invites, instead of the HOUSEHOLDS. Yes….make sure you count the households, not how many people are on the guest list.

I believe I actually did a head smack at this point of realization, and believe it or not I was already about halfway through writing out the addresses for people when I realized I only needed to do about 15 more and became really confused. Then like a flash of lightning followed by rumbling thunder, it dawned on me that I had made a HUGE error, and BOOM, I am now the idiot bride of the year! If that is an actual award, I deserve it. But for the sake of all other brides out there, PLEASE COUNT HOUSEHOLDS WHEN ORDERING INVITES! You will not only save a ton of money, but also time. If I had realized this before hand I would have splurged on the fancy letter pressed invites I had originally wanted.

The fact that I had 85 invites on hand and in reality only needed to send out 36 is still a matter of annoyance for me. But in a way it was a comic relief, since that meant I only had to address that many and had extras in case I screwed one up! Which of course I did, plus now I can send out some miscellaneous ones to celebrities and Disney characters, and any other people that either side forgot NEED to attend.

In actuality now I am more than happy that I am sending my invites out about five months early, whereas the timeline for them being sent out is about 6-8 weeks. If you are a bride like me where ALL of your family is coming from out of town, or even a destination wedding, then you can understand why I chose to send them out this early. It takes months to get flights, hotels, and road trips in order, not to mention time off work. Plus, the sooner I can get the final head count the better!

While I didn’t DIY the actual invites – I did design them myself though!- I DIYed the envelopes and the accompanied “Accommodations” cards that were inserted as well. You can find the tutorial here!

Seriously, HOUSEHOLD COUNTS my little brides!

xoxo, Bee

8 Types of “Dog Owners” Who Need to Be Slapped or Imprisoned

Most of you already know that I am a dog owner, in fact I own three amazing dogs who I would do anything for. Maybe that’s just a rare trait that some people have nowadays, you know, responsibility, selfless love for something other than yourself. Of course I follow a ton of adoptable pages via Facebook, along with tons more just dedicated to animals in general. It makes me completely SICK to read the stories behind some of these poor animals and grateful that these fosters/kennels are doing everything they can to get them out of their current situations, giving these dogs a second chance at a life they actually deserve and with a family that will give them unconditional love and attention.

People out there just astound me with their selfishness, and while some of these classifications I am about to give may have their reasons and justifications that help them sleep better at night; but to someone like me and a lot of other people out there, you’re preaching to the wrong choir.

1. The Time Manager: Oh how I love this category! First off, if you all of a sudden don’t have the allotted “time” to take care of a living being, DON’T GET A DOG! It’s really that simple. Especially the people who go in and buy a puppy right off the bat, yes a puppy takes TIME to train and a lot of patience. I know everyone who has a baby or a child will scoff at me for comparing, but a lot like a HUMAN baby, a puppy needs guidance, to be fed, to be taken out, has their own set of puppy shots and check-ups throughout that first year. Yes, life throws certain things at us along the way, but it is NO EXCUSE to drop your dog off at a shelter because you no longer have time for it. I work 8 hours a day, and Shane works 12, miraculously I STILL manage to play with my dogs and let them run around with each other, I don’t even know how I do it! Oh wait, maybe because THERE ARE 24 hours in a day, or I’m just superwoman. Either way I’m not buying your shitty excuses.
2. The Mover: The whole, “Oh I’m moving and I can’t take my dog with me.” I call BULLSHIT, you know why?! Oh, right! Because I moved, and not just across town – although I have done that before too, WITH my dogs – but I moved STATES. Oh and guess what, I still kept my dogs! What a fricken miracle! If you have a dog and have to move, be responsible, if you have to go to an apartment, pick one that ALLOWS dogs. Seriously people, it’s not rocket science. You can’t even pull the pit-bull card on me either, because if you cared to do enough research before just blindly writing your dog off, then you would know that you can actually register your dog as an “Emotional Support Animal,” making it illegal for landlords to refuse to rent to you. MIND BLOWING.
3. The Abandoner: I don’t even have words for this type of person, other than F*@! you. To even think that someone could just drop their dog off on the side of the road and not have any moral issue with that brings tears to my eyes. Especially knowing that that exact thing was done for my Bear. He was left on the side of the road, and found by a good Samaritan on the edge of a highway in Virginia at only 3 months old. Do you really have no other option at that point? Because I can think of a ton of other options. Was it really so hard for you to at least just bring the dog to a shelter at that point? At least have the heart enough to knowingly surrender him somewhere where at least he can find a better life than what you are offering. No apparently not, because THOUSANDS of dogs are left abandoned every day, and not ONE of them deserves it.
4. The Abuser: These categories are just getting better and better, because of you abusers so many dogs are thankfully taken from you. There are still people in this world WATCHING for you, you are a despicable human being. I’ve seen rescue stories of dogs who were being punched, kicked, tortured, tied out and choked, cut, burned, just abused in ways that I can’t imagine ever doing to an animal. Our first dog, Whiskey, fits into this loathsome category. She was terrified of men from being abused; when we went to the shelter 3 years ago in Florida we came across her on our second go-around. The shelter face. That’s all that can really be said about it, and for all those out there who have adopted a dog, you know exactly what I mean. After hearing about her back story I was wary of getting her because I didn’t want her to be afraid of Shane. But we played with her anyways, and a few months later we got her over her fear. So many dogs fit into this category, and so many volunteers and good-hearted people fight to free these poor babies from their horrible circumstances. It takes time and patience to cure a dog of their fears after being abused so extensively, and you people never should have owned that dog in the first place.
5. The Kids Card: I’ve seen this one so many times and it’s just another excuse. It seems to me that a lot of people will get a dog as “practice” for when a baby comes along. Yeah well, when the baby does come you just decide that you can longer care for your dog. Yes, I understand having kids makes for a lot of time you need to spend with them, it’s another responsibility to add to your pile, and just because it’s another task, doesn’t exclude you from taking care of your dog, another one of your responsibilities. As humans we were given this uncanny trait called multi-tasking, but sadly too many people are too LAZY to take on all of their responsibilities, just wanting all of their problems solved for them. I know people think I’m crazy having my three dogs, and yes I want to start a family, but the insane thing is that my dogs are a part of MY FAMILY. So a baby would be one more thing on my plate, just add it to the list. Sure I’ll probably be dead tired, but that’s life, get over yourself.
6. The Dog Fighter: Just go to hell. Seriously, the steps are already laid down for you, might as well start the trek down now, because no one who loves animals up here wants you here. We all know the Michael Vick story and it’s atrocious. You know dog fighters actually starve the dogs, which is what brings on the rage and the precedent’s for them to fight one another. If that’s not vile enough already, they are supposed to fight to the death. Oh but it gets way worse than that, the bait dogs. Oh yeah, you read correctly, and I didn’t stutter either. The name is exactly what it is, they throw in the smaller dogs with the ones they want to fight and literally let them tear the poor bait dog to shreds, unflinchingly. The majority of dog fights just happen to be pit bulls, which is why their reputation is always misconceived amongst the entire population. But don’t worry, there are others who know the truth, so screw your misconstrued knowledge on the breed of the sweetest dogs I have ever met. Leia is a boxer pit-bull mix, being a mixed breed still gets her judgement, and for pit-bull owners you know you get it all the time and in full force. As for the dog fighters, you belong behind bars for the rest of your miserable and meaningless lives, you’re ruining society and advocating violence among man’s best friend. We’ve had enough of your shit.
7. The Budgeter: Money. Literally nothing more really needs to be said. We all get into rough times at certain points in our lives, and yes owning a dog takes money on top of everything else. Simply put, if you are not in a stable position in your life, don’t take on the responsibility to care for another living being if you are barely taking care of yourself. There’s no need to be putting an innocent animal in jeopardy because you don’t have the money to care for it. Oh, and wrap it before you tap it buddy, because if you can barely take care of yourself you don’t need to be reproducing either.
8. The Breeder: There are more dogs in the world than there are humans at this point, and only 1 in 5 families actually have a dog. Those odds are not in their favor, not to mention millions are euthanized each day and yet people still breed their dogs. People are so set on getting those pure bred puppies, when you can go to any shelter and pick up an amazing dog who needs a loving home. I’m not gonna lie, we picked Leia up at 8 weeks old off of a Craigslist ad, but I wouldn’t trade doing that for the world. Many people wouldn’t either with their store bought puppies, and honestly I’m not gonna go judging someone for doing that. Either way, that is one less dog that you will find on the street, or in a shelter in the future. Hopefully. As long as you aren’t the asshole who falls into any of the categories mentioned above. But in the long run something NEEDS to be done here, too many dogs are in kill shelters, too many are left in shitty situations that need help. Get your dog fixed, that’s the first step to solving this epidemic.

To the people out there who are trying their hardest to help out man’s best friend, we are truly grateful. Whether it’s big or small, at least you are slowly making a difference. The rest of us who care are watching and sending you emotional support every day. It’s not an easy task, but it’s a job that will change the life of that special dog forever, thank you. If not for you, these babies would have never gotten their second chance.

xoxo, Bee

*To see an update on where Michael Vick’s rescued dogs are today, click here*

I’m Whiskey, I love to run and sit on my daddy’s feet when he gets home

 

My name is Leia, I like to snuggle and give sloppy kisses, I get really excited and sometimes jump

 

My name is Bear, I’m a huge goofball and love to instigate play time with my sisters

 

 

 

 

 

 

All I See These Days is Disrespect

Earlier today as I was preparing my next recipe tutorial I got mildly distracted by news stories that are constantly being shared through Facebook, Twitter, basically all social media right now. I couldn’t continue to even write my frivolous recipe because I was instantly pissed off by the petty people in this world. Not even just the people, but news stations, and the fact that people are so quick to blatantly follow these news stories as if they are completely true. Honestly I know this will just fuel the fire at this point but it’s something I just can’t ignore, otherwise it will continue to bother me and prevent me from focusing on the other aspects of my blog.

So the story that pissed me off you ask? Well this link right here will take you straight to it. Granted the source probably isn’t the greatest, but this story was just the last straw for me. I’ve already been holding in my anger towards all of the cops that are being shot, penalized for doing there JOBS, and I’m sure the majority of them are scared every day to go to work. I know I would be, and honestly if I had a family member who was a cop, I would plead with them not to go. People these days are just getting crazier, thinking so highly of themselves. Seriously? This is why Americans are viewed as bullies everywhere in the world, look at what goes on in our own streets?! Citizens just letting off rounds at other people, killing just to kill or make a statement, how can other countries respect US when we don’t even respect EACH OTHER?!

America used to stand for something, now what are we? I can tell you one thing, we aren’t the keepers of the peace, that’s for damn sure. No one in the world wants our help because we cause more problems than it’s worth. Our Government hides the stories they feel necessary to hide, the news only reports the most horrid instances when it comes to our public servants, and racial issues have skyrocketed in the past 6 years to the worst they have been since the early 70’s! America is literally a ticking time bomb, we are imploding from the inside and I’m sure that all the countries around the world are enjoying the view with a big bowl of popcorn, just waiting to see what happens next.

In our history we were able, despite our differences, to join together as one united people and help those who needed help, we used to have pride and faith in our country. The last event that brought Americans together was September 11, and from all of you reading this I know you can agree. I was in fourth grade when that tragic day happened and I could just feel the electricity and fire that was instilled in every American after it happened. But it shouldn’t take a tragedy to bring Americans together, we should be able to respect each other, help other people, and set an example for future generations. Instead, we fight amongst ourselves, killing one another, bullying, hating, bashing. Yes, America has a harsh past, but it is in the PAST. There is an old saying that you have to leave your past behind you, to ensure a better future, and I believe in that statement wholeheartedly.

I know I am just one person out of the billions in this world, I might not have the influence of a celebrity, or a politician, but I have something that is better than that, I have the heart of an everyday American citizen. We were all taught right from wrong at an early age, no one can deny that fact. Think of yourself as a five year old, if someone asked you when you were five if  you would ever kill a cop what would you say? The obvious answer is no, you wouldn’t, because the police are there to HELP you, and even if the question was to kill anyone the answer would still be NO because it is wrong to kill someone! Killing someone cannot be justified, along with a list of horrible things that we do to each other everyday, all those bad  things cannot be justified.

Americans need to wake up, take responsibility for your actions and stop BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE! Be a better person for you, for your family, and for your children. We were promised Change 7 years ago, a change that none of us were prepared for, because if this is the change then I don’t want any part of it. Stand up, but stand up for the right reasons, don’t blindly make a stand for something that is a media or governmental ploy. Respect those whose job it is to protect you, to teach you, and to help you develop into a better human being. If we crumble, everything our ancestors died for and fought so hard for will be lost within our own hate and petty differences.

xoxo, Bee

 

The Struggle Is Real

Lately I have been just going back and forth between reality. What I mean by that is, the decision behind a future for Shane and I; the dream/fantasy being a wedding and the reality that we simply cannot afford that “dream” wedding. But the more I ask myself what that even means, the more absurd I think it is. Yes, it would be nice to be with friends and family to celebrate our marriage, like David Tutera style, but the reality of it is is that I don’t want that.

At the end of the day all I really want for my “dream” wedding is to wear my gorgeous wedding dress that I found like 5 months ago now, have my dad walk me down the aisle, and marry the man I love. All of the frilly things, even items such as the decorations, the flowers, the cake, the DJ, the photographer…and just on and on when it comes to the ideal wedding, I just can’t come to terms with spending that money towards ONE day.

I understand that it’s my day and blah blah blah, but for MY day I don’t want the stress of knowing all of this money was spent towards this huge event when money is already tight enough as it is. Not just for us, but for my parents as well, and I am too selfless of a person to even want to burden them with the expenses. We already have the venue, the catering, and the tables and all that jazz are all included in that initial price as well. All of those “frilly” things I mentioned earlier have to come out of mine and Shane’s own pockets.

It’s a battle for me, because of course we haven’t done any wedding details while we are awaiting the call saying Shane is either being deployed or not being deployed. The wedding date that we have set is in June, which that’s not that far away to me. Time flies by, and then the added stress that if Shane is deployed then we need to change the date. You can see my struggle when it comes to putting deposits down for all of these items when it’s all up in the air right now. I was planning on putting my tax return towards all the wedding details, it comes in at the right time and hopefully by then we will have an answer.

BUT, this is what REALLY gets me. All of that money I am getting for a tax return could be put towards something much more realistically beneficial, say a down payment on a house. So, I am trapped between two worlds: The dream world of a wedding, and the realistic world of owning a house. To me, a house seems like the better bet, considering I did the math and figured out that we have literally put about $30k towards a house that we do not own, that we absolutely HATE, and that the rental company doesn’t even adhere to their contract for.

With that money, we could have paid off our car already, or had a substantial amount for a down payment. It’s literally money tossed down the drain, and money which I am not willing to keep wasting. I was so shocked by that reality yesterday that I hurried to the bank to talk with a Budgeting Counselor, who literally said we would be better off buying a house and paying less a month than what we are currently paying.

Basically, I am at a loss, stuck between two worlds and doing as Shane often says “trying to do everything all at once.” When it comes to life with a military spouse…there’s really no telling what the future holds and you can only learn to sink or swim….unfortunately I seem to be treading water…hopefully I don’t cramp up soon.

xoxo, Bee

My Poisoned Week

This past week I missed my Throwback Thursday post, so I am very sorry for that, but in all honesty there was just no way I could write on Thursday. It had to be one of the most stressful, uncomfortable, and just absolute worst weeks that I have endured in a long long time. I figured it would be nice to just lay it out day-by-day, mostly because I feel the need to vent about my problems, make someone else feel better about their day and be grateful that this just wasn’t them. I left off on Tuesday, it was pretty basic of a week by Tuesday….then Wednesday hit and it all just went downhill from there.

Wednesday:

It was a great day honestly, I didn’t have to go in to work because I was taking my notary class, that work paid for AND I got paid still for being in the class. DOUBLE WIN! Well Leia (my little pittie/boxer mix) had started getting sick. She was throwing up and not keeping any food down, we figured it was just a bug and just babied her a bit to try and appease her, see if we couldn’t cure the symptoms ourselves. Well dinner time comes and we decide to go out for dinner…NEVER AGAIN. We went to Twin Peaks – if you aren’t familiar it is basically a restaurant like Hooters, Wing House, or Tilted Kilt. I have only been there one other time and it wasn’t that great, but I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and just ordered something different than last time….it was just absolutely terrible. Honestly I don’t even think they gave me what I ordered, but anyways we get home and I feel awful. Leia was still sick, and by Midnight I joined her in sickness….FOOD POISONING. The absolute worst experience of my life, I was up for a straight 12 hours, I slept on our bathroom floor, if you can even count an hour at a time to be sleep. Needless to say I texted my boss at like 3 and 7 in the morning, telling him there was no way I was coming in to work.

Thursday:

Food poisoning is something I don’t think I would ever wish on my worst enemies, it’s worse than the world’s worst hangover times ten. If any of you know what I am talking about then you know. I swore off of eating out completely after this experience. Anyways, I got super dehydrated and it was impossible to even get any fluids in my body because they just came right back up. Not to mention sleeping on the bathroom floor was just absolutely freezing. It was a very uncomfortable night, but on the bright side by about noon the vomiting began to subside. I wish I could say the same for my little Leia though. We were two peas in a pod Thursday, if someone came into the house they would have thought a bomb of infections had gone off from how pathetic we all probably looked. Staying home from work, I wish I could say I enjoyed myself, it was miserable. Not to mention I was completely weak from no food and no fluids staying in my system, then trying to take care of one sick dog and two others who just wanted to play. Hence why there was no Throwback Thursday post.

Friday

Finally Friday, I should have been more excited, I was still exhausted from lack of sleep the day before and still kind of off. I had rice for dinner Thursday, but that was it. Food was not a priority of mine. Well I get back to work and completely forgot I was supposed to go to Raleigh to pick up some permits, so with a quick check of emails off to Raleigh I went. Of course at first I didn’t mind because at least I wasn’t sitting in the office…but it was 3 hours to get there, then three back, on top of that my boss tried getting me to turn around and go back while I was ALREADY DRIVING BACK….if any of you are in the corporate world, then you know that your bosses just work off their own time so by the time he called me he had just gotten into the office. I was not turning around, so guess who gets to drive all the way back up there again this week!?! Yeah, so exciting. Well that’s not the worst part yet, I get home finally and go to let the dogs out. Leia had an accident in her kennel that consisted completely of blood. I waited for Clay to get home and showed him as well, we went out to get groceries shortly after and stopped at a vet hospital to talk to them about what we found. (I don’t trust her normal vet…) They told us it was up to us but that we should take her to an actual specialist because they would be able to determine exactly what was wrong….so off the to vet ER we went with Leia. She is by far the most lovable dog in the world, even sick she doesn’t act it unless it’s really bad and is excited to meet everyone. Well like any ER it takes FOREVER, we got there around five and were there until about 8:30 pm. By the end of the appointment they discovered that on top of being super dehydrated, her liver was completely inflamed, and three times the enzyme count (whatever that is) than normal. She ended up having to stay overnight hooked up to antibiotics and IV fluids. 😦

Saturday

It was an exhausting night for me, she has never been gone from me, at least not to the vet or boarding. The only time we have been a part was when they were still with my parents when we first moved up here. By seven in the morning I got a call saying that she did very well throughout the night, with no vomiting or diarrhea, thank God. They were scheduled to check her liver again at noon. We spent the afternoon cleaning and running more errands, finally by about 2:30 pm we could finally pick her up. To say this was expensive is an understatement, thankfully they calculated in more treatments that were just in case scenarios that got deducted and the only thing I ended up paying for by the time we got her was her antibiotics, having paid the large sum the night before. She was out of it all Saturday, just sleeping on and off, very calm for her normal personality, threw up her food again. But it was to be expected, she didn’t really want to eat in the first place. I was just grateful that she was home and that she wasn’t dying, because of course every worst case scenario ran through my head during this whole process.

Sunday

Leia finally kept food down, she was more up-beat and hyper and we could finally rest easy knowing that the antibiotics were beginning to work. We spent the majority of Sunday at home since it was raining all day. At least it was relaxing and I knew the food I was eating was made by my own hands and I wouldn’t go through another episode.

That brings us to today, work..as always sucks. I still have to pick which day I am going to Raleigh, more than likely tomorrow, but my little Leia is so much better. I have never been more thankful than I am this Thanksgiving. It takes those thoughts of the worst case scenarios to really snap you into reality and be grateful that everything is slowly getting better, and didn’t get worse. Not to mention I can hopefully eat some delicious Thanksgiving delicacies…it is after all my favorite holiday…mostly because I’m a fatty.

xoxo, Bee

Rental Rant

Renting has to be the worst thing in the world, at least for us it seems. Some people can do a rental no problem and end up having an awesome company who sticks to their lease contracts. But no, we never are able to find the ones that do. But buying isn’t really an option for us right now what with the wedding and every penny I have is going towards doctor’s bills, a credit card (thank god just one), and just being able to live. No money can be set aside right now in order to save up for a down payment. Even the wedding expenses are too much for us to really wrap our heads around right now.

It’s understandable that I try to save money where I can when it comes to groceries and miscellaneous expenses, as shown here.

Every rental company we seem to have had doesn’t come and fix what breaks as shown in their lease agreements. Our sink pipes are always leaking, we have put in a request every month for the past 9 months…the requests sit there in cyber world just pending. Mind you we are renting through an actual BIG company, not anything like postlets or an outside landlord. This is an established company and you would think they would handle it more professionally but they just don’t. Not to mention my biggest concern is mold forming where all that water leaks, that’s a safety issue for US since we live there. It might not be for them, but I’m going to make sure the next people going into that house KNOW about it, since the rental company doesn’t seem too concerned with it.

I watch HGTV, I see what is really behind people’s walls when they start doing demos, and even though our unit was built in the mid 2000’s I know this house wasn’t built to code. Our leaking pipes show that fact, but it’s not our job to make those repairs. On top of the actual home issues, they switched up their online payment website to a dodgy and glitched up POS and are now claiming that we didn’t pay rent this month. Online you can’t see a payment pending, you can’t see ANYTHING. But I have my receipt in my email showing that a payment was made, yet the money still hasn’t been drafted. So here I sit on the phone, for the past 40 minutes trying to get a hold of someone to no avail.

I hate renting, just absolutely hate it, people are cheats and liars and no one ever sticks to their contracts these days. On top of that it’s just overpriced and honestly I would rather live in a shitty small apartment saving money than wasting it away on this POS house that is more than guaranteed to have mold. I just cannot subject my three furbabies to that confined of a space when they have a yard to run around in now….OH which we installed the fence as well for the property. Which upped our rent because of the addition WE MADE, when our whole agreement with the company was that it wouldn’t. But alas, another lie.

I’m in rental hell, depressed knowing that every month’s rent that we have paid for the past year would equal an amazing down payment on a house….and there’s still no answer. AWESOME, hope ya’ll are having a better Friday than I am.

Bee