The Top 8 Most Annoying Questions You Get Asked As Newlyweds

So hubby and I have been married for 99 days as of today! Put into day terms, that’s a lot longer than some celebrity marriages! In my book that means we’re off to a great start! As all newlyweds can agree, you can get some really annoying questions after you’re married. So as a kind of warning to all of the happy couples out there, you WILL get asked these questions, and it will get more and more annoying the more the days pass. I wish I could tell you when these questions finally end…but we’re clearly not at that point yet, but don’t worry I’ll make sure to follow-up when I know!

1. “So how is married life? Does it feel any different?”
   1. It’s great I guess? In all honesty it feels no different, but we have been building a life together for the past 4 years….I mean I don’t want to kill him yet, so I guess that’s good? I mean honestly do you really care?
2. “When do you plan on having kids?”
   1. We JUST got married, children are terrifying and stinky. I like having a clean house, clean sticky-free walls and a full 8 hours of sleep every night. I think we’re good right now. Besides, I have my pups and they’re much easier to handle than a child would be.
3. “Are you sad that it’s all over and there’s nothing to look forward to now?”
   1. Well aren’t you a bundle of joy! Do you really think there is nothing else to look forward to in life now that we’re married?! I couldn’t be happier that the wedding is OVER with, that was too much planning, too much stress, and while it turned out beautifully I am so THANKFUL that it is done with. The amazing thing right now is that we don’t have to make plans, it’s AWESOME. We’re relaxing, enjoying each other’s company, there’s plenty to look forward to, and all of it is much less stressful!
4. “Are you excited you can gain weight now?”
   1. What is wrong with you people? Is marriage really viewed as an excuse to NOT take care of yourself?! If I don’t feel attractive within myself how could I ever feel like my husband finds me attractive? So the quick answer to that is, NO! I am not letting myself go just because I’m married, if anything I’m going to drag him along with me to a healthier and happier lifestyle. Marriage is not an excuse to gain weight and become unhealthy. Plain and simple.
5. “I could never get married at your age” 
   1. This one is more of a statement than a question, but a statement that nevertheless I don’t rightly care to hear. Of course you could never get married at my age, you’ve been single since I’ve known you! That’s great that you feel that way, good for you, but that’s YOUR life. Not mine. So please, keep the comments to yourself.
6. “Don’t you want to travel?” 
   1. Actually we do, thanks for asking! Does everyone just think that once your married you can’t go anywhere? That you’re just going to sit at home for the rest of your life? It is POSSIBLE to travel with someone else…not just by yourself. Most people travel with their best friends…well jokes on you, I get to travel with the ultimate best friend..oh and with benefits for the rest of my life!
7. “Does it suck you won’t have any time to yourself?” 
   1. I have more time to myself than I know what to do with. I mean we do have jobs, and his hours are the complete opposite of mine. If you add together all the hours that I have to myself it equals to about a days worth of so-called “alone” time, and no I do not wish I had more of it. Call me crazy but I enjoy spending time with my husband.
8. “Does it get annoying that you have to share EVERYTHING now?” 
   1. I didn’t know sharing a last name meant that we were all of sudden required to share EVERYTHING. It’s not like we’re one massive blob of a person, we are still each our own person. It’s a complete misconception that everything is shared, but hey if I’m not too hungry at dinner I have my reliable hubs to go halfsies on a meal with me…you don’t see restaurants having special priced meals for “one” now do you?

So please I’m begging you, if you have any friends or family members about to tie the knot…DO NOT ask these questions, but regardless of what I say the questions will still be asked, the rude statements still be made. But at least now you get to sit at home watching Netflix reruns with your spouse, laughing and joking at all of the stupid things everyone else says. Jokes on all of them, because you’re both awesome.