Well yesterday I got the call from Shane while he was still at work. The possible deployment call. My mother has always said I have a very weird intuition, it’s that same intuition that guessed the genders of both my brother and sister when I was young, keeps me from taking certain roads at certain times, and completely staying home instead of going out. Because I’ve had so many of these experiences in my life thus far, I’ve not put down deposits for the wedding when it comes to vendors, and have not sent out any invites or even save the dates even though the wedding is a mere 8 months away.
According to my wedding checklist – yeah..right- I am supposed to be sending out invites already, considering I botched on the engagement announcements AND the save-the dates. I opted out of both for the sake of saving money to begin with. The problem is that we do have a venue and a secured date for June, but if he ends up having to go, well he won’t be back in time for the wedding date we have chosen. It’s becoming very clear to me now why so many military wives/husbands just elope, since you can’t really plan ahead, you can only take it day by day and hope for the best.
Honestly a big wedding doesn’t appeal to me to begin with, the whole process has been stressful for me since I have no one really up here to plan with. The last time I got any serious planning done was when my mother and sister visited last May and we were able to find my dress and secure the venue/catering. In our defense, the company we’re working with knew from the beginning he was military and honestly I’m just hoping they are reasonable. But on the one-hand now we also have to decide if we would want to wait until he gets back or all of a sudden now be married before March.
All in all I’ve basically written off having a wedding where all of our friends and family can make it there, it would be too short notice and so impromptu that we just really don’t have a choice. Regardless if we do it before or after, I wouldn’t be able to send out invites in time for people to make any plans to make the trip, considering all of my relatives are in Minnesota, his are at least in North Carolina, but both of our parents and siblings are in Florida.
The whole situation isn’t ideal, but in the end it’s down to us and what we want. I’ve completely ignored everyone’s complaints at this point, because there’s just nothing I can do. One thing that it’s been hard to deal with in this whole wedding planning process is trying to just focus on us and not be concerned with everyone else’s feelings and schedules. At the end of the day, no one is going to be 100% happy, but honestly that’s not my problem, and to them I’m coming off as a bitch, but in reality I’m getting married to Shane whether these people show up or not.
In the end, I can’t make all of our family members happy and I have now completely accepted that, I can only make myself and Shane happy. That’s all that matters in a marriage anyways, not living your lives to everyone else’s standards, but living to your own.