Okay, so I have not consistently been keeping up with my blog for awhile now and it is time to bring that to an end. I have been beyond busy from work to life to the point where I have been suffering from some major writer’s block. So I will start off slow when it comes to bringing you all up to speed on what has been going on in my life.
First off, almost two weeks ago now Shane has left for basic training, and it has been a huge struggle for me, but at the same time very enlightening. I have goals set for myself again that I am not likely to break because they keep me as busy as possible. I am trying new pinterest projects about twice a week – which I will have to post about as well – and I have been taking his absence as a time to really reflect on myself. It’s an odd experience for me, after being in a relationship for almost three years and trying to please someone else, which I do not mind in the slightest, I just have not had the chance to really focus on myself in a long time. Let me tell you, I missed myself! I missed just having time to my thoughts, being able to drink a glass of wine uninterrupted, eat A LOT healthier, workout more consistently….it is actually really nice.
I won’t deny though that I miss him like crazy, I find myself looking through our old text threads at night, looking for the text where he says he loves me, browsing through my pictures just so I can remember his face. The longest we have ever really been apart since we have been together is about a week, so this time seems to drag, but at the same time I try to keep my days so full they also seem to be speeding by. In his absence I have spent the majority of my time preparing to be my perfect vision of myself so that when July comes around and I finally get to see him again, I am a new and more whole person. In any relationship I have come to realize that you can depend on each other, but not to the point where you lose yourself in that other person. While he makes me a better person and I couldn’t picture myself with anyone else, I also need that relationship with myself, I need to also be whole on my own.