Blogtember: Day Seventeen

Write about a time you screwed up – a mistake you made.

When it comes to friendships I always seem to screw them up, whether its a close friend or even someone I haven’t seen in years, I always screw up a friendship. But at the same time, I lost a lot of friendships over my own happiness and honestly they were worth losing. I don’t know if it is my bad judge of character in a person along with my whole forgiving too easily policy, or if it’s just me as a person. It often times will get me thinking, especially since the majority of my friendships were lost after Shane and I became an item. I had a “best” friend, who after Shane and I started dating got upset and jealous over my happiness in my relationship and constantly brought me down because of it. So, for the sake of my relationship and happiness I wrote her off, and let’s just say not too pleasantly. I lost many work friends as well, got talked about behind my back at work, and it just made life hell for me.

A lot of you might say I brought this on myself, which I will not deny in some cases. But in the whole scheme of things, your friends are supposed to always be there for you, aren’t they? I was always that friend who sacrificed my own feelings in a matter and was always there for them even though they were making a mistake. I was always there when they got there heart broken, and the majority of the time they just liked feeling superior to me, like they had everything figured out. Especially when it came to relationships, since I was always the single girl, I never had a boyfriend for long. When Shane came along, nobody liked that, they hated being around me, they hated hanging out with me and talking to me. So I built a wall, I blocked them out, cause who were they to deserve my friendship if they didn’t want me to be happy?

Of course, Shane and I had our couple friends and a few single stragglers and I found a good friend in his friends girlfriend. But over time another girl came along and they disagreed with each other, which now of course they are best friends after I had a talk with them both. Funny how that turns out? If you’re too brutally honest as a friend, it never works out in your favor, especially if you are the peace maker amongst friends. Basically I can never win, and I’ve just completely stopped trying. My only mistake when it comes to friendships that I have discovered is that people do not like the truth. They say they want the truth but they really don’t, and people will always disapprove of things you say or do, they will always talk behind your back and start rumors, it’s inevitable. Plus as soon as you put that dreaded “best” before friend, it’s all over, you just completely killed that friendship. At times I regret being too honest, but then I remember that I will not lie to stay friends with someone, I will not change who I am just to stay friends with someone who obviously doesn’t even deserve my friendship.

Mistakes are meant to be made, and we are meant to learn from our mistakes, and I’ve learned that I would rather be happy than keep someone in my life that doesn’t support that happiness.

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4 thoughts on “Blogtember: Day Seventeen

  1. I lost some friends when I started a relationship. Most of it was my fault because it was new and exciting and I became a huge flake. My friends didn’t appreciate it and it was HELL trying to get back in their good graces. I don’t think I ever bounced back from that and things have never been the same. I’m still with that person, and my former friends have faded to the background. It’s all good though – in life we grow and expand and our heart opens up to new people and experiences and you really learn who your true friends are. Thanks for sharing your post!

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  2. Hey you know how many friends I lost (I told you the story). It gets easier. You’re growing up and starting an adult life. You aren’t on their level anymore, you’re in another league. Friends come and go but true friends are forever. And hey you always have me (and Dylan) lol ❤

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